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February 21, 2013

I remember a certain session I had offered to someone for free at the beginning of my business, hoping to gain more experience from it. It’s funny how clearly I can picture that day. My immeasurable nerves beforehand, and the ache in the pit of my stomach as my mama drove me home afterwards (Because I didn’t have my license at the time… oh my ;). As we whizzed past highway exits and a blur of shopping centers on our way home, the tears began to come. I was scared to even look through the images I had just shot on my camera, fearful of what I would find. Because deep down, I knew I didn’t have one single image to be proud of. Not one. I let every inch of disappointment spread out in front of me like a smorgasbord of failure. She drove, glancing over from time to time, telling me everything would be ok. But all I felt in my fourteen year old heart was defeat. I had failed. Hard.

I was resigned to the fact that I had gained zero experience from that afternoon and it was useless to my growth. But as months passed, and now, years, I’ve learned that afternoons like that are what have shaped me and my business into what it is today. I learned from that afternoon what it felt like to disappoint yourself. And I promised myself I’d do everything within my power to never find myself crying in the car on the way home from a session. Ever. Again.

And while it’s not easy sharing this, I know that I personally have been far more encouraged by other photographers sharing stories of their failures than their triumphs. If this encourages just one newer photographer, it is worth it. So worth it. Because I wish I could go back now and tell that disappointed girl in the passenger seat to listen to her mama and know… everything’s going to be ok. :)

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